Inside all the people

I'm hooked on this song haha. I probably listened to it for a godzillion times today, and its on repeat mode in windows media player. I'm not sure who mixed it, but it sound really great. Deep rumbling bass and crisp beats ensured a good workout for my Cambridge Soundworks, and they were a delight to hear. It made me so happy, and yea even now at 3am, I'm listening to this wonderful piece of erm 'progressive house'? 'house'? I aint too sure of the genre it belongs in, probably the dude would know, but he's having a stomachache and a minor bout of food poisoning from his recent Blk 85 episode haha.

He told me it was the sugarcane juice and I thought so too. You see, when you buy sugarcane juice and there aint any froth on top of the glass, it means its probably overnight sugarcane or stuff that's quite abit on the stale side. Freshly squeezed sugarcane juice comes with a layer of froth on top. Too bad not many people observe this before they drown themselves crazy with this shit haha. I am very much into the art of sugarcane drinking, and I do have a Diploma in Sugarcane Management and Storage (SMS) from one of the top plantations in Malaysia. Anyway I dont normally call it as sugarcane juice. We locals prefer calling it 'gam jia zui', as sugarcane juice sounds too foreign-like. The dude is currently suffering from the 'no froth=bad juice' syndrome, something which I can sympathize with. I hope he gets better soon lol.

By the way, I only just finished one of my reports like 20 minutes ago, before taking a shower and then here I am blogging. My eyes are shutting down on me, but since I performed several illegal operations, they seemed to have hung bigtime. Furthermore, with several windows still open, with one of them none other than WMP (playing this very song), my eyes still need some time to go before shutting down. Oh ya, another one of my friend sent me this hilarious clip from YouTube on Muar Rap. It's some seriously funny shit from a guy rapping in a mix of Chinese and dialect. Real good stuff, maybe I should just post it here as well haha. But how do I paste from YouTube? Someone teach me haha.

Penning off now, ciaos!~

Missing my Dad

I always tell myself not to think about it too much, but sometimes I can't help but think of the past, especially the recent past. I know my Dad is gone and is in a better place, but I wonder what it would have been if he was still around. Going home from campus, and seeing him watching TV by himself in the living room used to be a familiar sight. He would be stretched out on the rattan chair, his head leaning backwards and his eyes half-closed. I knew he was feeling fatigued, due to his illness taking its toll on his body. Sometimes, he would be sleeping in the room downstairs, but at least when I came home, there was still someone whom I could call out to, someone whom I could say 'hello' to, and at the very least, the house wasn't empty.

It is often said that humans do not cherish each other until it's too late, and I feel this is very true. Honestly, I do feel guilty that I did not spend enough time with him when he was still around. I was always upstairs in my room fiddling with my com, while he would be downstairs, often with no one to talk to. I know that he had a lot of things to share with me and my brother, but sadly, we never gave him the chance to do so. Even if he had told us, we just could not pay enough attention to him. If we knew that he was gonna leave us soon, of course all these would not have happened. The problem was that no one knew he was gonna leave us so soon. If humans could predict the future, then there would be no such things as regrets. We ought to cherish the ones around us while they are still around. I hope a similar situation that occurred between my dad and me would not repeat itself in the case of my mum. While she is still around and healthy, I think I better spend more time with her and even if I can't do so, at least be around for her more often.

I guess anyone who read the above must be thinking what a bad son I am. I do not wish to debate on whether I am indeed a good-for-nothing, but I would leave the people who know me well to judge me on my character. If I could describe my character, it would be: aloof, slack, relaxed, not giving two-hoots about anything, selfish, self-centred and lazy. I'm trying to become a better person. Yea I know I would always be slack and lazy, but I dont think these are faults if I am contented with what I have. However, I would like to tackle two issues as best as I could, that is being less selfish and caring more for others.

Frankly, I have seriously considered performing volunteer work every Sunday so I can help the less privileged. I am quite confident that I can take up this committment in the long term. Hopefully, this would help me to become less self-centred and to put others before self. I hope that in the coming months, I can have something to blog about concerning volunteer work. My aim is to give society what my family has given me. I was always told by my mum and aunt that my bro and I are very lucky to have a dad who cared so much about us, and who made sure we did not have to worry about buying a house when we get married one day. A house for me, and another for my brother, that's what my mum said to us. I am indeed very lucky, and I just feel that it is now my responsibility to help the less privileged.

No matter what happens, I hope that one day I can look back upon this thread and tell myself that I would always make an effort to be an honest and responsible person. I hope that when I get married and have children, I can look back upon this day and tell myself I'm gonna take good care of my family, just like my dad has taken good care of us before he left this world. I know that my dad would want me to continue the good work that he left off, and he would want me to take good care of my mum, bro, aunt, his future daughter-in-law and his grandchildren. He might not be able to meet them, but he can be rest assured that I would perform my job to the best of my ability, till the day I leave this world as well.

Mr Selfish

I met him today while eating my 'lunch' at 545pm. Seriously such stuff should not be discussed in the online world, but it aint of much use if it remains a hush hush affair anyway. When he saw me, he could still smile at me and pretend that nothing happened. That's really a little bit too much. Who knows what he might be thinking of behind those eyes. I realised maybe I shouldnt't have helped him time and time again. Well I did not exactly helped him many times, but I really did render help when he needed it. Grr..!~ To think that when I called and SMSed him last week to enquire about some stuff, he totally ignored the calls for 'strategic' reasons. Yea come on, what has he got to lose by revealing 'strategic' information to me. And to think that I offered to help him find a job attachement so that he could graduate on time. It turned out to be a waste of my time really. When I saw him, I was hoping he did not seat down beside me or in front of me haha. I do not consider him an enemy or something like that, but his actions last week really disappointed me. I would just remain neutral towards him from now on...

Yea my lunch was at 545pm today. Mondays and Tuesdays are really difficult to grab a decent lunch. Since I'm not really the type who's into 'grab-and-bite' stuff, I certainly needed an hour or so around 12pm for my meals. I consider that very important, since to me, nothing is more important than good health. I would rather be late for a lecture than miss my lunch. Too bad that today I had no chance to do it at all. 3 hours of design lab sessions straight from 130pm till 430pm. I was literally whining to myself why I had to endure going through such shit as IP networks and stuff like that. Of course, as usual, I did not pay attention during the lesson, and was soon in my own little dreamland. Told you I needed some major kickass form of motivation yea? I really did not care whether I understood the stuff or not, nor did it bother me at all when the lecturer was explaining and I was staring blankly into him.

Tomorrow is another downright boring day. Another 3 hour lesson listening to web stuff. I am thinking of bring a laptop to the LT and watching a movie. I did that with Trainspotting a couple of weeks ago and it certainly illuminated the afternoon for me. Tonight its aunt's house for me, which has often been the case every Monday or so. Quite cool, since Queenstown is much nearer compared to travelling all the way back to Siglap.

Life sucks..but it sucks more when I listen to dumbass engineering shit.

The Anglican Trail

What a nice Sunday it turned out to be. After having dinner at granny's place, I met with the dude cos he wanted to eat 'minced pork noodles' at Blk 85. Yea, its that relatively famous store that has been selling this shit for decades (I think..). As usual, he was at his gluttony self haha, devouring a $3 bowl, and having another bowl of porridge and a plate of oyster omelette. Goodness goodness. Following that, we decided to make a trip back to our secondary school days at Anglican High.

The buildings hasn't changed much, except for some additions that made the place a little cramped and unfamiliar. Otherwise, we could still figure out our way around the building. The dude seems to have forgotten his way around the compounds, maybe its the after-effects of the food. Well~ I could basically remember just about everything, where the old classrooms were located, the canteens, the chicken rice store, the clock tower, teacher's room etc etc. It certainly brought back the memories of yesteryear, as I could imagine myself running across the parade square, getting punished by Mr Sissy Huang and just making a fool of myself during my teenage years. Everyone has grown up now, and so many things have changed over 10 years. Some of us are hitched, some are working, a few got married (the girls I think) while the rest I'm not sure.

Secondary school days are the best part of a person's life, at least for me. Friendships were forged, clans established and puppy loves ignited and extinguished. PE lessons were fun. I still remembered how I kicked a ball into this girl in Sec 2. She was tearing and staring daggers at me. Meanwhile, I remained quite aloof LOL, and ya know what she did? After the day was over, she slashed her wrist and left some blood on my table. Yikes!! Truly Satanic, I wonder why girls enjoy slashing their wrists so much. They can truly take the pain huh? Some type of masochistic (spelling?) behaviour perhaps? Anyway, she didn't do anything else to me, nor did I feel any effects of the potential black magic she could possibly conjure up. No voodoo dolls were found either hurhur..

Lots of memories and nostalgia. Perhaps I should go back to St Stephen's as well, although its a totally new school compound now. Speaking of the latter, my son is gonna study there by hook or by crook. If I'm a Stephenian, my son is gonna be one too.. With regards to his secondary education, haha, no AHS for him though.. :)

Lou Reed's Perfect Day

It's a songworm ringing in my head. For almost the entire day today, I have been singing this song in my head. Yeap, its Lou Reed's Perfect Day, and this part of his song constantly plays in my head.

Oh it's such a perfect day,
I'm glad I spent it with you.
Oh such a perfect day,
You just keep me hanging on,
You just keep me hanging on.

This is a haunting, melodic and very beautiful piece of music. I first chanced upon this in Trainspotting, when Renton (Ewan McGregor) was brought to hospital after an OD episode.

Anyway, today was another walk in the park for me. I came home after a prayer session, and feeling quite restless, I walked down to Siglap again. Today that place was full of people, quite happening actually. Most were dressed to the nines, maybe they were going for a clubbing session after dinner/supper or something. Bleah! That ain't what I am interested in. More importantly, I bought a 2 buck McChicken from the Mac at Siglap Centre and walked back again. This time the stars in the sky weren't that bright as the day before, but eating my McChick as I walked back along the park was satisfying lol.

I never had the habit of eating when I'm walking. I find this very weird, so I am not into buying stuff from the roadside stall and slurping away. But since I'm alone in the park, I thought might as well just give it a try. Pretty nice feeling, to eat something while you are walking... Strangely enough this park is always quite deserted, as its a great place to cycle and blade. I'm quite sure it aint about the spooks or anything like that, that place is very clean, with houses lining up either side of the pavement, which is divided into cycling and pedestrian lanes. The spookiness is only felt if one goes far down to the East Coast park connector leading to the underpass at the ECP highway. Over there, yea its really quite dark and quiet. I used to cycle past that lane everytime when I have the urge to go to East Coast Park and honestly, it aint a very nice experience near that stretch of road. I was always hoping to see a fellow cyclist or blader using that lane as well, but more often than not, luck is not with me.

Back to the prayer session I had, I felt it was extremely good. I always feel so positive and blessed after engaging in it. I am a Buddhist, and have already been through the required rites to become one. Ya know, I always feel that I have sinned, but the most important thing is to learn and accept your own mistakes. Today, my ShiFu was talking about feeling contented and living life to the fullest, as well as helping others in need. Actually, all religions teach us to be good people, but Buddhism is the only one who says that everyone can attain enlightenment and become a Buddha, and thus become free from all mortal troubles and stress. This is a very crude way to put it, since I am only a beginner in this area. However, I think Buddhism is very meaningful and it has certainly enriched my life and made me a better person.

If I have the chance, I would like to perform volunteer work every weekend after I have found a stable job upon graduating. It's my way of giving back to society what God has given me. Helping the less privileged and bringing a smile to their faces is something that I wish to do...so help me God, give me the strength to finish this semester without slacking lol.. Cos seriously, I am a super duper slacker. This whole weekend was spent rotting and walking in parks...im in deep shit lol...

Oh it's such a perfect day......................

East Coast's cool and rockin'

A pretty much uneventful day yesterday (Friday). I was supposed to attend classes but skipped them altogether. I think motivation is certainly a rare trait in me these days, have not been to campus on Thurs as well. Rotting at home pleases me quite a lot, and I simply spend my time surfing the net, looking up interesting and weird stuff, eating and of course napping away.

Life's good, but this aint too constructive considering that I have so many deadlines to meet for reports and stuff. Anyway, who cares? It's not as if extra effort would bring me a 2nd upper. I would probably need something phenomenal and a bit of luck to get the 2nd upper, so why fret over it when I'm comfortably sitting on a hay-stack of 2nd lower shit. The odds are against me man, otherwise I could have pushed myself just a little bit further for 2 months. Well~ To hell with it, I think being happy is more important than results.

I went to East Coast for dinner with my secondary school mates. It was a pleasant and wonderful experience, since these are guys I only meet once about every few months. A stomachache threatened to spoil my mood, but I went down to the 'lagoon' to release some gas and immediately felt better. The food was above average, and I had satay, BBQ fish, while my opposites wolfed down cockles and satay-beehoon. Never been a great fan of food by the way, I was more intrigued by the calmness of the night sky and breeze, couples walking along the beach, children playing on their tricycles and people rollerblading. Very healthy indeed, hardly any sleaze around. It made me wanna cycle to East Coast from my home again, something that I used to do with regularity back in my OSC days. After the meal, we went to Haagen Daz in Siglap for some dessert. Actually I did not feel like going, since I was more of a Bens & Jerrys kinda person, but going with these guys made the trip worth it.

I walked home myself after everything was over, since my residence was only like 15 minutes walk away. I must have walked for about 30 minutes though, because I really enjoyed the solitary walk through the park. It wasn't spooky at all, but it was a fantastic experience to get into contact with Mother Nature at her most surreal moments. Yea along the way, I did imagine walking with that special someone hand-in-hand, not talking at all, just walking and walking and walking till we reach our destination. This would be really sweet, although I haven't met anyone who could possibly like such quiet activities. Weird stuff maybe? But a dream's a dream, I do enjoy thinking of a fairytale type of situation. Anyway, I felt good even though I was alone. A really cool Friday indeed. The stars were out in full force, and the pale night sky was radiating with such lushness. Heaven is...a place on Earth.