been some time

it's been a whole 2 months since we broke up, slightly more than 2 months actually. Although i probably have recovered in terms of my sleep pattern, my appetite and general well-being, i will be lying if i say she's not on my mind. Just a few nights ago, i had a dream, a very nice and blissful one whereby me and her spent some wonderful time together. It felt very real, like back to the nice old days. Of course, while i was in it, it did not feel like a dream at all, until i woke up that morning and realized yes, she's gone away.

don't know what's happening, don't know why it's happening, 2 weeks ago i called up her mum to ask how is she and uncle, as i wanted to bring breakfast over. Also don't know why i still wanna do this, but cos she still means a lot to me, and i simply ain't able to forget her or forget the things i used to do for her. Seems like in every one of my serious relationship, i have been the provider. It's probably the way i am wired up and i don't mind doing all these, because simply seeing her smile is enough to brighten my day. Now even if i wish to do these for someone, i have no chance to. Can't see myself putting in the same amount of effort for anyone else except her

also not very sure if she has read or seen the scrapbook i made. I spent a lot of effort and time on it, hope she finds it meaningful. The scrapbook is not meant for her to return back to my side, in case she is mistaken, but just capturing the most beautiful memories i have of our 6 year relationship, the most significant of my life. Wow that feels really long, anyone walking out of a 6 year relationship must be really bruised and battered, just like me, cos i am the sentimental type. Yes, indeed, new people will probably come into my life, but they will just be passing shadows, and i won't be so emotionally attached to avoid being hurt